Do you smell it? That sort of burning hair smell, with just a hint of Homme by David Beckham?
That, my friends, is excitement. And we are marinating in it over here.
First of all, aprilwinchell.com is slowly coming back to consciousness. And there you all are, standing around, looking up its dress. It’s beautiful metaphor, isn’t it? That’s what we call “wordsmithing” where I come from.
It will take me some time to get blogging regularly, but for the moment, I wanted to give you a little taste of what used to pass for entertainment over here.
First, I have reactivated all my archived radio shows and podcasts, starting back to my first shows on KFI in 2000.
Secondly, I have made my enormous library of terrible music available again, and I’m anticipating a wave of new ringtones within my readership. Now all you need is someone to call you, but I can’t do everything.
Third, I’m slowly going through the site and republishing old material that I think has retained a trace of comedic value. I’m just going for a hint of flavor here, so don’t get your hopes up. Of course, if you’ve read my writing for any length of time, you’ve already learned how to manage your expectations.
And finally, what are you doing Friday? Say, 8:00?
If you said, “Having fun,” you were wrong.
Instead, I’d like to suggest you give this a try:
Rob Paulsen and I will be at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Theatre on February 8th, reading some of my favorite hate mail. We’ll be performing your flounces and angry Tweets and bad book reviews in a variety of cartoon voices. If you live in Los Angeles and want to come see whatever the hell this is, click here for tickets and show information.
BUT HOLD ON
Our friends at UStream are going to broadcast this LIVE, so you can see it wherever you are. You can chat, you can complain, you can heckle us, and you can submit questions for the Q & A part of the show. And if you can’t watch it live, you can download the event from Ustream later, when you’ve sobered up.
Click here to sign up for the live broadcast on UStream
Like all marginal entertainment, HATE MAIL isn’t free. But it’s only $4.99, and a portion of that will go to The Wounded Warrior Project.
Hope you can make it!
I wish I could be there. I’ll be watching, though. In a totally non-creepy way.
I’m so glad you rescheduled this.
I will probably tune in unless I have to poop, in which case I will definitely tune in.
Oh, God! This makes me so happy that I could pee! Though I’ve enjoyed regretsy, I have missed the April Winchell Audio Archives like a tooth! There back!!! What to listen too first? “What is Schaf wearing?” “A call from Ricky” “The Audio Treasure Chest” “April’s hiphop corner”… It has been too long! I’m welling up , seriously!
Forgive my grammar and spelling, I’m excited and typing on a phone
Fuck yeah! Best skirt I have looked up in years!
As far as the live streaming goes, what time is it or can I view it at anytime?
The live streaming is at 8:00 PM PST, but you should be able to download it any time afterward. I’ll double check to see how long it takes to go up on UStream.
So much to read and listen to to catch up! It took me 3 days and 4 cases of beer to get through the entire Regretsy site from start to finish over a year ago. I think I might have one of those marathons left in me before my liver fully gives out.
I still haven’t made it through all the archives in the entire Regretsy Public Library, but I haz a happy to see AprilWinchell.com up!
It took about a zillion tries with the sign-on system to say this, but say this I will:
It took about 3 years, but my waiting is over. I look forward eventually to hear again from Ms. Winchell her usual blasts at those who deserve it: the bloated, the has-beens, the people who believe their own publicity.
And everyone else besides Suzanne Somers.
David, I MISSED YOU
I command Matt and Zippy to appear!
How did I get here and where are my pants?
I told you to use the hands-free device, not the pants-free one.
Maybe it’s like that scene in The Fly and Matt will show up as half-man/half-pants.
This is so exciting.
So glad to have you back! I’ve missed this place.
*sets box of dead houseplants down, looks around*
Yep – think I’m gonna like it here!
Dear April,
My emotionally-manipulative and destructive-lifestyle-pushing friend, whom I’ll call “RegrExy”, seems to be making some kind of multi-media take-over move. It makes me think she’s going to become a kind of Shadow Oprah but that sounds racist? Please advise.
What the hell is a Shadow Oprah? Is that like Illuminati Beyonce?
I was thinking Freemason Lil’ Kim, but OK.
Order of the Water Buffaloes Nicki Minaj, maybe.
Aaand that sentence gives me chills for no good reason.
Marking this on my calendar URGENT
Unfortunately I’m miles from LA (wish I’d never left CA) so will have to UStream it.
I was JUST ABOUT TO PESTER YOU with emails and forum posts about this very thing. It is extremely gratifying to know that you anticipate my EVERY WHIM. Bless your heart.
I have so been missing regretsy. I’ll loiter here instead.
Welcome back, April!! So happy to read/watch anything you come up with!
<3