No American President should ever make such an obsequious display to any household pet — ever.

You want to keep lying and deceiving yourselves on the truths when it comes to Obama, go ahead. Keep being foolish, thoughtless followers and down the road you’ll be one of the first to wonder what happened to your country and your freedoms.

This is not a man who loves America! This bow is all about being subservient to Portuguese Water Dogs, and PORTUGAL IS NOT AMERICA!

Is that what you want??

I just made this over at Obamicon Me.

Look at all those stupid fuckers.

It was FOURTEEN degrees out there. People were standing in ass-chapping weather for ten hours, just to get a good look at The Jonas Brothers. It all seems so terribly, terribly wrong.

Of course, we were upstairs, gorging on cupcakes and champagne, so whatever.

Anyway, I had a fantastic time on my trip, and I have lots of great photos to share with you. But it will have to wait a few days, because I’m very busy aging right now.

Yes, tomorrow is another birthday, a double edged sword if ever there was one. Happy to be alive, sorry to be turning into Tyne Daly.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for some Nyquil and a CSI Miami marathon.

- Submitted by Steven, who is also drunk

There isn’t that first snowfall in Cerritos. People aren’t suddenly nice to each other. And the only horses you see on the road are on their way to Farmer John’s.

We don’t have a Rockefeller Center; no iconic focal point where people gather to feel the magic of the season. The closest we get is The Grove, with the fake soapy snow and the giant Christmas tree. And instead of children ice skating with their little glowing faces, we have San Fernando Valley dickbags in Ed Hardy hats.

In L.A., Christmas is just another thing people pretend to do. They order their holiday dinners from Whole Foods, watch It’s a Wonderful Life on Blu-Ray™ and light another Duraflame “Crackling Fire Sounds” wax paper log. Tomorrow there will be a holiday Pilates marathon.

When every day feels the same, it’s hard to sense that subtle shift into magic time. The weather doesn’t change, the synthetic grass stays green, and no one really gives a shit. Sure, you see the occasional string of lights on apartment balconies, but those are usually meth labs, and those people leave that shit up all year.

So how can you tell that the holidays are upon us?

Well, I’ve narrowed it down to three very clear signs. Print them out if you need to, and refer to them whenever it just starts feeling like December.

1. THE ANNUAL CVS CHRISTMAS DISPLAY

John and I were walking through CVS the other day, refilling my Darvocet prescription (talk about Christmas spirit), when we came upon their beautiful holiday display.

I used to think the Christmas candle started burning when they put the bows on the meat at Gelson’s. But nothing really says “Happy Holidays” like this gesture.

It’s heartwarming, even if does seem like they put the bows on the toilets earlier every year.

2. WINTER COSTUMES

A few Christmases ago, I was in line at the grocery store. It was a typical winter day in the mid 70’s, and I noticed a woman behind me wearing a scarf, a wool hat and a tank top.

I realized this was the same sort of uniform I’d seen every winter in Los Angeles. And it dawned on me that this is actually a costume.

People in Los Angeles dress like they think cold people dress. They have no actual experience being cold, so they appropriate winter accessories they see in movies and magazines, and mix it in with their typical warm weather wardrobe. This results in such anomalies as down vests with tube tops , mini skirts with leg warmers and hot pants with Ugg boots.

So the next time you see a girl in bike shorts and a ski mask, you’ll know it’s either Christmas in Los Angeles, or she just robbed a Wells Fargo.

And finally . . .

3. BIG BEAR MOUNTAIN RESORTS TV COMMERCIALS

Yes, they’re here again! The commercials I write and produce with Mick are starting to air this week, and this year we have a new batch of three (last year’s are here).

This first one, entitled “Editorial”, has already started airing in San Diego. I’m not in this one, but I think it might be the best one of the three.

I’ll post the other two next week.

Mick and I pose for our high school prom, 31 years later.

So it stands to reason that seeing a well crafted, thoughtful and engaging piece about the elections might startle you, especially since you were probably coming here to see something like this.

It’s for that reason that I’m not cutting and pasting here, but offering a link to you instead. A link to an extremely well-reasoned and ultimately very revealing piece by one of my favorite writers.

John Foley.

John has had a very difficult experience over the last few months, watching John McCain become a man he could not, in good conscience, vote for. He writes about the journey with a lot of candor, and I have tremendous respect for his process, and his honesty.

I think we’ve all had a journey over the last few months, and I wish I could put words to everything I’ve been feeling. But I can’t come close to this piece, which says so much, so effortlessly.

I support a smaller government and a strong defense, but not as much as I support the rights of gays and women.

You can read it here.

Tomorrow, I’ll post my collection of the most offensive images I’ve seen in the last month or so. It’s high time things get back to normal around here.

Sadly, these are not real. I ’shopped this last night for my own amusement.

For a list of actual McCain Flip-Flops, click here.

/Obligatory political post of the day